Innnards: Does my ex-boyfriend have access to my computer?

As the author of the WWW FAQ, I regularly answer questions about the workings of the Web. If a question is frequently asked, I simply add an article to the FAQ. But sometimes a question is more detailed, more in-depth— not really a FAQ, but still of interest to others. You'll find those questions, with my answers, here in Innards along with commentary on other web-technology-related topics.

2008-01-09

Q. My ex-boyfriend has my IP address and has already demonstrated that he has gained access to, at the very least, items in my Outlook. Does that mean he has absolutely been able to access all folders on my computer? He is extremely computer advanced, weathly, abusive and vindictive. My fear is he will intercept potential job offers, among other things. Can you explain how an IP address falls into him gaining access? I have repeatedly changed passwords, however I'm not sure this helps at this point in time. Please explain in very basic terms, I'm not very computer literate. Thank you.

A. I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you.

You are in a complicated situation and you may need more than just technical help. You would be wise to consult a lawyer to find out whether you have options such as a restraining order, or even criminal prosecution for data trespassing, and think about whether those options are right for you. Please do not rely solely on the advice of a technical guy out on the Internet somewhere. Please do seek the help of friends, family and professionals that you know and trust.

OK, now that's out of the way:

1. Does He Have Access To My Computer?

Yes, your boyfriend might have access to your computer. An IP address is not enough to get him in. That's like knowing the address of a jewelry store, but not having a key. From time to time new security flaws have been found in Microsoft Windows, and when this happens the risk of attaching your computer to the Internet is greater until a fix for the problem is installed via Microsoft Windows Update. But I don't think this has happened in your case.

Unfortunately, if your boyfriend is as smart as you say, then it is quite possible that he installed "back door" software on your computer back when he still had access to your home. Once someone does this, it doesn't matter how much you change your passwords, because they are potentially able to monitor everything you do on your computer.

2. Don't Destroy the Evidence

Installing such software is a crime, by the way, a crime for which your boyfriend could be prosecuted. You could approach the police about this matter. They might or might not have the skills to determine whether back door software is on your computer and handle the matter properly. You should seriously consider this option before doing anything that might destroy evidence. Of course, proving that your boyfriend did it (and not someone else) could be difficult.

3. Getting Your Computer Back

If you are sure that your computer is no longer needed as evidence, you can take steps to correct the problem. Unfortunately, once any sort of "malware" (malevolent software) is installed on your computer, it is difficult to make 100% sure it is gone. And in a case as serious as this one, you cannot afford to take any chances with it.

3a. The Right Way

What you really ought to do: erase your hard drive and reinstall the operating system on your computer. Nothing else will guarantee that these programs are gone, and you simply can't live with a computer that your ex-boyfriend has access to. To do this you will need your original Windows XP installation CD (most computers come with one of these although you did not have to install it manually the first time).

This page provides a good guide to the subject.

3b. The Not-So-Right Way

Now, I recognize that you might choose not to erase your whole system and start over. And you might not have your Windows XP installation CD.

If you choose not to reinstall your operating system, there is another option: you can install Spybot Search and Destroy and AdAware Personal Edition. These are free programs that search for and remove common "malware" programs they find on your system.

Since some malware programs are specifically designed to hide from these tools, these programs CANNOT BE GUARANTEED to work on a system that is already "infected" with malware. That's why I recommend erasing your hard drive and starting from scratch. But many users do find them very useful.

Not Everything These Programs Find Is Your Ex-Boyfriend's Fault

I should caution you that many computers belonging to inexperienced users are already infected with malware programs. That's because many users naively agree to install innocent-looking programs they find on the Internet or receive in attachments to email messages. These "social engineering" tactics are used to commit anonymous, economically motivated crimes, such as secretly turning your computer into a sender of junk emails.

If Spybot or AdAware finds evidence of programs that it specifically describes as keystroke recorders, that is much more likely to be personally motivated.

You can find more information about these programs and how to use them in my article why is my web browser broken?

Best of luck to you in dealing with this unfortunate situation. I wish you better times ahead.


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